Written By: Kekeletso Dhliwayo
“Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
We blame society for how our children turn out, lest we forget, we are society. I say this in earnest; I say this thinking of the unaccountable children that we are raising who became lawless adults and who create a society that is rich in self-doubt, questionable and sometimes criminal.
Unaccountable parents, who constantly shift blame in times of error, only reinforce a lesson in children that, if you’re caught in the wrong – the smartest child is the one who can shift responsibility to the point where they garner enough sympathy to get away with bad behaviour.
The many number of children who grow up to become ruthless and vicious criminals, those very ones who must have been taught the difference between right and wrong… they are the children who grow up learning how to rape elderly women, steal from society. Keeping society on tenterhooks and keeping this society that has raised them, in a situation as hostages. We have come to be afraid of the people whom we have birthed… unaccountable children, becoming adults defined by lawlessness – it is these very same adults who must in turn raise their own children, what will they teach their children? To be a reflection of their parents, the aggressors or to be different from their parents – to be the victim. It goes without saying that nobody seeks to be classified a victim.
As parents, we really are too blame for how our children turn out – too busy to pay attention, too disengaged and at times reclaiming our youth that we lost because we were so desperate to shed for adulthood. There is not a thing wrong in building a legacy for our children, working hard for their benefit – but what will it be for if we neglect those very children and they end up in the prisons, morgues and rehabilitation facilities?
It should go without saying that we are the world that we reside in, good or bad – this is of our own doing. Though at times we cannot control who our children become – a stable disciplined home environment serves as a foundation that words can never fully describe. The conscious will always appeal to one about their actions before they transgress, always. The question many adults have to ask themselves is, have we given our children this foundation or are we waiting for the streets to do this on our behalf, then turn around and blame everyone else and every other circumstance for who our children become? The lesson here for adults then becomes, do not show your children how to shift blame, rather, teach them how to own up to their mistakes and by knowing better, they can do better.
Let us be honest, the street is an influential classroom with many different teachers – the last thing every parent should rely on is undue on influence to step up on their behalf to teach right from wrong.
An unaccountable child becomes a really dangerous human who only perpetuates what they know, parents, instead of showing your children how to divert blame – rather teach right from wrong and the important lesson of being accountable for choosing wrong.