It has become very saddening and deeply disturbing to observe the trend that has crowded the media in recent times – of violence against women and children in our country. It had become one too many with each case that emerges that one had to start asking the question; “what is really going on”? Why are our women, daughters, sisters and mothers being targeted and brutalized? What is really happening?
What is giving rise to this sudden escalation of these hate crimes and atrocities? Why now? Why ever? As I thought about it and prayed into it, I realize that there is definitely something demonic about this escalation. It seems as if there was a rousing from hell of a horde of demons of hate and violence suddenly unleashed unto the land. These demons then begin to incite hatred and consequent agitation towards violence against women and children. Men become abusive, harsh, hateful and outrightly violent against women around them.
But wait a minute, are these not the ones that we men as fathers, husbands and brothers are meant to protect? Are they not the very ones, we are supposed to look after and care for? As I ponder over this distressing trend deeper, I also realize that this prevalence is not being perpetuated by every man in our nation but by a few men. So I ask the question, why are some men being used by the enemy to hurt and harm women and children and they allow themselves to be so used? While others cannot be influenced in those directions and manner. What is it in the thinking and psychology of a man that predisposes him to be so influenced by wanton demonic forces? Is there a link and connection between how they are raised and brought up as young boys into manhood? Is there a connection between the prevalent fatherlessness that we see in our communities and society with this trend?
In a time when it is so easy to drop babies and walk away from them and their mothers. Leaving the women to single handedly fend for and raise these kids? When taking a responsible stand to look after, provide for and raise the children that we bring to the world as men and fathers has become a dreaded take up, there is need for us to truly ask ourselves some deep and sincere questions. There is need for an honest conversation in a bid to find answers and stem this tide.
I wonder what would happen if all men who sired babies would be totally involved in raising them? Boys are brought up and raised by their fathers and taught how to be proper men? Same boys are taught and brought up to respect and honor their mothers and sisters at home by their fathers? Fathers and men in the communities stand up and protect women and children under their care and watch?
Can we have communities where men are not overwhelmed by feelings of inferiority and helplessness that often manifest as harshness and violence against women? Communities where men feel empowered, supported and encouraged to pursue their dreams and achieve their highest potentials? Can we build a culture that respect and protect the weak and vulnerable? Can we have communities where women are raised to be virtuous, respectful and self respecting? Communities where everyone – men and women feel safe and supported to pursue their dreams and achieve their fullest potential? Can we create communities where our women and children feel safe and free to grow, flourish and blossom?
What does it take to build such a community? What does it take to raise such men and fathers who would build and uphold such communities? Can we as Fathers rise up to stop this scourge in our nation? Can we stop this tide?
Can we have a conversation on this? Can we just talk about it?
If you are interested, please join us in the conversation this coming Fathers Day Sunday, May 18 from 4pm at IDELIGHT PLACE, The Ridge Shopping Centre, Corner Paul Kruger and Mozart Street, Honeydew Ridge, Roodepoort.
The conversation is themed: “Fathers Against The Tide” Sunday. (FAT SUNDAY!!!)
You can register to join the conversation for free at www.reslife.org.za.